**

Went for run just now. I think i can never figure out why things always look better after a run.

Despite all the ranting against having hope (no hope, no disappointment), i realised tat all along, running has been about hope. I can't imagine a run without an ending point. There's always hope in reaching the ending point, in style sometimes; there's always hope in reaching the waterpoint; there's always hope in seeing a chio bu, haha...

Anyway, running clears the mind.

Oh ya, running with eyes closed still reminds me of her. Too.

Formalities formalities.

I hate formalities.

Certain things remind me of certain things.

Like "No Such Thing" by John Mayor remind me of Tekong Challenge.
And Far East Plaza, Orchard Cineleisure, and Prisonbreak remind me of her.

My mind is literally dying with every second of this holiday torture.

I think there should be a books on rules of dating. Rules that would always be rite and as long as everyone follow these rules, everyone will live happily ever after. Like maybe, one should juz give up on someone when she is so obviously cold towards u, for watever reason. But some smart aleck juz had to say things like "never give up", "no pain no gain", "perserverence will pay off" and such crap and everything becomes blurred again.

I dun understand, why i muz suffer like this.

It's been raining so much, i think i smell mushy now..

I dun handle holidays very well.

And despite everything, i still get into situations where i am baffled, and somewat bothered by cryptic messages...

I wish sch would start sooner. Though i noe i'll regret that when it actually does start.

I guess i'm not that as at ease as i thought i was.

Which basically kind of sucks.

There. I did it. I killed my blog.

Somehow...

It' s the hols once again.
It's the rainy season again.
Serious rainy season.

The urge to meet up with pple still lingers. Yet i find refuge in my comfort zone, where it's me, with juz me alone. Has had some reprieve from the emotional turmoil though. Somehow, this time i'm peacefully at ease. No more thoughts of missed chances, no more thoughts of what might have been. Hell, i dun even have someone in mind who i wish were with me when i feel lonely. There isn't a lot of trouble when there is no one in mind in the first place.

I think i wonder a lot of times, when and how i'll find that special someone. Someone who seems like a godsend, yet have enuf time to slowly find out about her, for her to find out abt me, and then somehow like each other.

Yah, somehow's the word. It has to be...

Stuff

I dun really noe what i'm supposed to do with this blog of mine. Though i say it's for venting, i think i probably meant it's gonna be about all things that i dun want pple to noe.

Gone thru a not-so-good period after the marathon. I duno y, someone decided to treat me rather coldly, despite all the rather happy times we spent together. I have my theories, esp since it was after a particular, erm, nvm (see, that's the problem. Though i'm supposed to vent and write what i want, i noe all too well the possibility of it being read by someone "accidentally".) Anyway, i've learnt to crawl out of this slowly. Sometimes i think it's for the better too, cos this relationship was not something i was really sure of. I was juz taking it as things came, trying what i could. But i guess at the end of the day, it's still disappointing.

I learnt to laugh again yesterday. Thanks, S and L.

Virgin post

For the record.

Jiabulah = Gabra
Ganlanshabu = kena sabo-ed